“Really?” I mutter as I stare at the floor of the shower.
There, on the blue mosaic tile is a flattened, slightly crumpled, pale-brown arachnid.
That’s the second one in a week. What is my home becoming? A resort for Centruroides Gracilis?
Well, probably not a resort given both guests were not exactly living life to its fullest. They were most definitely of the dearly departed ilk.
I shake my head, wondering how this specimen ended up in my guest bathroom and how long it had been there. Visions of Bruno, my great orange and white hunter, tossing it in the air as he twisted and turned, roll through my head. I’ve seen him dispense with all sorts of small vermin. Well, with the exception of tarantulas. Those he leaves for me to escort out of the house.
I stoop down for a closer look. This decimated carcass is the color of cafe au lait. Last week’s was much darker, but it was freshly killed. I had caught Bruno in top form, joyously playing with his night’s catch, though I didn’t realize it at first.
That morning had begun oddly. After I woke up and opened my bedroom door, Bruno did not dash in as was his custom. In fact, he was incognito from the time I rose through breakfast. It wasn’t until I was sitting on my sofa, sipping the last of my coffee, waiting for life to return to my groggy brain, that I heard him. My ears perked up when they caught the sounds of a happy cat flopping on a mat.
Must be scrunching up the kitchen runner again, I assumed. Bruno loves to dive bomb and rumple throw rugs. I’m constantly unfolding and straightening them out.
Once I had finished my coffee, I stood up to return the mug to the now quiet kitchen and stopped. There on the floor in front of the island was a very still, five-inch long, dark-brown intruder. And sitting tall and proud a few feet away was my fur ball.
I glanced from the dead bug to those smug golden eyes staring up at me and then back to the corpse again. I smiled and offered praise to my hero, “Good job, Bruno, my Scorpion Slayer!” It was a most excellent start to the day. One scary brute, deceased, and I didn’t even have to catch and release him.
An unwelcome feeling of annoyance starts creeping up inside of me, returning me to the present. One scorpion, once in a while, o.k., that’s not a huge issue. Bugs happen. But two in a row? Now, that’s two too many. Are there others lurking in my kitchen cabinets, my trash bins (all previous haunts), waiting to ambush me? Chez Loder does not have scorpion open-door policy.
Where are they coming in?
Oh, I think I have an idea. I dash into the living room and peer at the front door. A pale strip of light is visible beneath it. I start to approach but stop. There in the small entranceway is an upside-down, very large and very dead centipede. Slayer struck again! Yup, that gap has to be the neon welcome sign inviting the slinky underworld into my home.
Ignoring the dead arthropod for the moment, I crouch in front of the door. Is that a quarter inch high slot in the middle? Looks like it. That’s more than big enough for those stealth arachnids to skittle underneath, especially since the floor boards in my house run seamlessly under the door to the edge of the door frame outside with no threshold.
This won’t do at all. Not at all.
I grab a key, head out onto the back deck and open the small bodega. I rummage through the off-cuts of wood and grab a couple of pieces. I rush back inside, sidestep the dead centipede – I really should sweep it up, but I have more pressing matters – and open the door.
Bingo – one piece is the perfect height and width. Plus, its rounded edges even look like they belong on a threshold. Now I can bridge the distance between the trim on the door jams on either side, and the bottom of the door can close against this new piece of trim. I bet this will not only deter insects but also keep some of the dirt from blowing in underneath the door.
All I need to do is cut the piece, sand it and apply three layers of varnish/stain (varnish and stain are combined into one product here in Honduras). Easy, peasy, especially since I have all the supplies I need right here. I am filled with joy knowing that after living here over a year, I will have finally have solved the scorpion problem in my house (fingers crossed 🤞🏻🤞🏻).
Two deceased scorpions and one dead centipede make for a very good week indeed. All thanks to my Chief of Security zealously carrying out his duties and dispensing with all manner of unwanted vermin. I think he will get an extra special treat tonight for supper. Perhaps his favorite lionfish?
© Sandra Y. K. Loder 2023
